


Living is Harder

by almondchocolate



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, Gen, High School, I Don't Even Know, Marinette Dupain-Cheng Needs a Hug, Suicidal Thoughts, Superhero Patrol (Miraculous Ladybug)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-09-16
Packaged: 2021-03-06 14:22:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 557
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26490346
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/almondchocolate/pseuds/almondchocolate
Summary: Taking the high road causes a strain on Marinette's mental health. A strain that she's afraid to show others. Even Chat Noir.Luckily, Marinette has always been strong.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Living is Harder

Chat Noir smiled as he sat down beside Ladybug on the rooftop, his eyes sparkling and his breath short from the speed he had raced here. Today was one of the many days that Ladybug had won, and he was internally looking forward to the inevitable banter that would ensue. As he turned to look at her, mentally preparing for laughter and joy, he was struck with what he saw. Ladybug wasn’t laughing or grinning with pride and victory, instead she was staring at her yoyo. Her expression was serious and somber, and her eyes seemed shiny with tears. 

“Ladybug, are you alright?” he asked.

She turned towards his direction, but her gaze looked right through him. It was unnerving. “Of course, it’s just..” she trailed off, her eyes catching a far away look that set Chat Noir on edge.

“Ladybug, what is it? You’re scaring me.”

She turned to him, finally seeming to see him. “I don’t know it’s…” she trailed off again. “Do you ever get sad Chat? Do you ever feel this aching hopelessness that you know has no basis in reason, but still haunts you every waking moment. Do you ever suddenly feel like crying? Have you…” she was quiet for a long moment before sighing. “Have you ever thought about the future and cringed, because you forgot that you had to live that long? Like, four more years taking the high road until graduation might just be the end of you? Like you can’t continue any longer?”

Chat Noir inhaled, “I can’t say I have. I get overwhelmed thinking about the future, but I certainly don’t think that it’s hopeless. Bug, this sounds pretty serious. Are you okay? Do you need help?”

Her expression grew panicked before changing into an easy smile. The panic vanished so quickly Chat Noir wasn’t sure that he’d seen it. “Of course I’m okay Kitty. Just being dramatic that’s all. I’m probably just having a mid-puberty crisis. Don’t worry about me.”

“Are you sure?”

She nodded. Perhaps a bit too hard.

"Yes, Kitty. I’m sure. I’m probably just tired. Let’s end patrol early tonight so we can both get some rest and be ourselves by tomorrow.”

Chat Noir never wanted to end patrols early, but he would do what his Lady wanted. It was unlike her to act so strange, and it was clear something was bothering her, but he would give her space and push it later.

Her problems would still be there tomorrow.

She would still be there tomorrow.

Chat Noir swung off into the direction of the mansion, not looking back. 

He didn’t notice that Ladybug stayed out on those rooftops long into the night. He didn’t notice the wavering indecision on her face as she considered detransforming and taking a step off the edge. He didn’t hear her eventually whisper into the night, “Dying is easy, living is harder,” then quietly return to the safety of the bakery. 

He didn’t notice this because Adrien has always been optimistic. 

He didn’t notice this because Adrien has never allowed himself to recognize a problem as it is.

Despite holding the black cat miraculous, that night he (and all of Paris) were the lucky ones. 

He was lucky that Ladybug would always put others before herself. 

He was lucky that Marinette Dupain-Cheng would always be strong.

**Author's Note:**

> So... I don't really know why I wrote this? Like, it's not that good and kind of unresolved? I don't know. This was kind of a stream of consciousness thing mixed with the fact that deep bits from Hamilton have been stuck in my head. Let me know what you think!
> 
> Thanks for reading:)


End file.
